From Communication to Connection: Rebuilding Intimacy and Sexual Wellness After Breast Cancer

For many women, intimacy after breast cancer can feel like unfamiliar ground. Your body has changed, emotions have shifted, and the idea of pleasure may feel distant.Yet intimacy isn’t lost, it’s transformed. Rebuilding closeness begins with understanding these changes, communicating openly, and learning to define pleasure on your own terms—in new, meaningful ways.Listening to Your Body’s New LanguageBreast cancer surgery may alter the look and feel of your breasts [1]. Treatments like chemotherapy and hormone therapy can cause vaginal dryness, fatigue or reduced desire [1] [2]. These physical shifts can affect how you relate to your body, and how confident you feel about resuming intimacy.It’s common to wonder: “Will my partner still find me attractive?” “Will sex feel the same?” [3] [4]Partners may also hesitate, afraid of causing pain or not knowing what’s “okay” [4] [5] [6]. Over time, silence and assumptions can create distance—even when love remains strong [7] [8]. Acknowledging these changes—in your body, your sense of self and your relationships—is a vital step in healing. Your body has carried you through cancer. Listening to it, with kindness instead of judgement, is an act of self-compassion.Boundaries as Bridges, Not BarriersRebuilding intimacy begins with open communication. After treatment, your needs and comfort levels may have changed, and sharing them honestly helps strengthen trust and deepen connection [9]. Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges that help you and your partner meet each other where you are. Research shows that couples who communicate openly about fears, desires and limitations experience greater satisfaction and less distress [10]. You can also speak with your doctor about symptoms like pain, dryness or loss of sensation [1]. Your care team can suggest ways to manage these and make intimacy more comfortable for you. It’s normal to feel shy about discussing sexuality. But remember: talking about sex is a natural, healthy part of reclaiming yourself [11]. The first conversation may feel awkward—but it opens the door to healing closeness. Redefining What Closeness MeansWhen you think of sexuality, you may first think of intercourse. But pleasure can be found in small acts of connection—holding hands, gentle touch, laughter or emotional intimacy [1] [7] [9].Exploring touch gradually and broadening your idea of connection beyond penetrative sex can reduce anxiety and help you rediscover comfort in your body in new ways [7] [9]. Studies show that couples who approach intimacy with openness, flexibility and acceptance rebuild stronger connections [12]. If pain or numbness occurs, try different positions that take the pressure off your chest, or take breaks [7] [13]. Remember: pleasure is about comfort and connection, not performance. Moving Forward and Finding Your Rhythm AgainDesire may not feel as spontaneous, but closeness is always within reach. Whether through gentle touch, warm conversation or shared laughter, intimacy begins when you feel safe, seen and loved. Be patient with yourself. Some days, you will crave closeness; others, rest will be what you need most. Both are forms of healing. At Solis and Luma, we believe that living well after breast cancer means nurturing joy, confidence, and intimacy—in a way that works for you. Every journey is unique. Don’t be discouraged if something that works for others doesn’t feel right for you [14].Let this new chapter be where you redefine intimacy—not as something lost, but as something newly yours.  Article reviewed by Ms Dian Handayani, Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach at Nambani.Dian is also a contributing author of The Breast Years of Your Life: Living Well After Cancer. From emotional resilience and fertility to nutrition and exercise, the book offers compassionate, practical guidance for survivors rediscovering wellness and confidence after treatment. To learn more or grab a copy, visit https://www.solis.sg/the-breast-years-of-your-life/References:[1] Solis Breast Care & Surgery Centre, The Breast Years of Your Life: Living Well After Cancer[2] American Cancer Society, Body Image and Sexuality After Breast Cancer [3] Breastcancer.org, Sexual Health During and After Breast Cancer [4] Current Opinion in Supportive and Palliative Care, Sexual identity after breast cancer: sexuality, body image, and relationship repercussions[5] MD Anderson Cancer Center, Sexuality and Cancer: A Guide for Patients and Their Partners[6] Women's Health, Care for breast cancer survivors in Asian countries: A review of sexual dysfunction[7] Breast Cancer Now, Your Body, Intimacy and Sex[8] Psychooncology, Everyday Protective Buffering Predicts Intimacy and Fear of Cancer Recurrence in Couples Coping with Early-Stage Breast Cancer[9] BMC Cancer, Constructions of sex and intimacy after cancer: Q methodology study of people with cancer, their partners, and health professionals[10] European Journal of Oncology Nursing, Factors contributing to sexual dissatisfaction in women with breast cancer: The specific role of conjugal relationship quality[11] American Cancer Society, How Cancer Can Affect Sex and Intimacy[12] Frontiers in Psychology, Coping With Changes to Sex and Intimacy After a Diagnosis of Metastatic Breast Cancer: Results From a Qualitative Investigation With Patients and Partners[13] The Oncologist, From diagnosis to survivorship addressing the sexuality of women during cancer[14] Psycho-Oncology, Wearing my heart on my chest: dating, new relationships, and the reconfiguration of self-esteem after breast cancer
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Good Nutrition for Living with and Beyond Breast Cancer

Breast cancer treatments have become more and more successful, with a huge number of women studied beyond breast cancer, discovering what lifestyle factors may reduce the risk of recurrence.  The current recommendations supported by research are: Maintain a normal body weight, but if you are overweight, losing just 5%-10% of your weight is beneficial. Do not drink alcohol. Alcohol is one of the greatest risk factors for breast cancer and there is no safe limit as far as breast cancer is concerned. If you do choose to drink alcohol, limit your intake to no more than 7 units a week. Of note, 1 unit is not the same as 1 drink.  175ml wine 13% ABV is 2.3 units  125ml champagne 12% AVB is 1.5 units  330ml beer 5% ABV is 1.7 units  25ml spirit 40% ABV is 1 unit Limit saturated fat by avoiding or rarely eating fast food and highly processed convenience foods.  Do eat foods that contain healthy unsaturated fat, and this includes nuts, seeds, nut butter, olives, avocado, oily fish such as salmon, sardines and mackerel and use extra virgin olive oil.  Limit red meat (beef, lamb, pork) to no more than 500g per week, which in practice is about 3  times a week, and avoid or rarely eat processed meat such as bacon, ham and salami. These  foods do not directly increase breast cancer risk but do tend to be high in saturated fat and are linked with increased colon cancer risk. Eat a high fibre diet. Foods high in fibre include beans and lentils, nuts and seeds, fruit and vegetables, wholemeal bread and flour, brown, red and wild rice, barley, spelt, quinoa, freekeh, kamut and other wholegrains. If you are not used to a high fibre diet, you may notice some bloating and more wind than usual, this is nothing to worry about and is a normal process that shows that your gut microbes are active and keeping your gut healthy, but if it’s uncomfortable, gradually increase your fibre intake over a period of a few weeks. Beans and lentils are especially high in fibre, so try to eat meals containing them at least 4 times a week.Eat dairy and high calcium foods. Dairy foods are often a cause of controversy, and many people mistakenly believe they are linked with increased breast cancer risk, however, research  shows the opposite to be true and that women who include dairy and high calcium foods in their diet have a reduced breast cancer risk. If you dislike dairy foods or are intolerant to them, ensure  your diet is rich in high calcium non-dairy foods. Include soy in your diet. As with dairy, this group of foods can be controversial, but research does show that women who eat soy have a reduced breast cancer risk and reduced risk of recurrence compared to women who do not eat soy. This is the same for both hormone receptor negative and positive breast cancer. You may have heard that soy contains a group of  compounds called phyto-oestrogens, and this is where much of the fear arises, however, phyto oestrogens are not the same as the oestrogen that your body makes, they have a different chemical structure and attach to different receptors in the body.  You may choose not to eat soy, maybe because you dislike it, are intolerant or don’t feel comfortable eating it, and that is fine, it is still possible to eat a healthy diet that reduces breast cancer risk by following some of the other guidelines included in this article. Be physically active. Whilst this is not in the realm of healthy eating, being physically active has clearly been shown to reduce breast cancer risk. Aim to be moderately active for a minimum of 150 minutes a week, so approximately 30 minutes a day, or vigorously active for at least 75 minutes a week. Moderate and vigorous will be different for everyone, so be your own guide as far as effort goes.  The final and very important piece of advice is do not fear food. Eating should be enjoyable and free from stress. A healthy diet can look different from one person to the next. Your friend, relative or fellow breast cancer friend may feel great eating one way and eating certain foods, but that doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Make adaptations to your diet gradually and enjoy the process, this is much more likely to lead to sustainable change. *Article contributed by Jackie Green, Dietitian & Nutritionist at The Family Dietitian  Jackie is also a contributing author of The Breast Years of Your Life: Living Well After Cancer. To  learn more about this empowering book for breast cancer survivors, or to get your copy, visit https://www.solis.sg/the-breast-years-of-your-life/Recipeshttps://www.wcrf-uk.org/healthy-eating/recipes/ References and further readingWCRF: Continuous Update Project 2018: Survivors of breast and other cancers Messina M et al Neither soy foods nor isoflavones warrant classification as endocrine disruptors:  a technical review of the observational and clinical data. Crit Rev Food Sci Nutr. 2022;62(21):5824-5885. doi: 10.1080/10408398.2021.1895054. Epub 2021 Mar 27. PMID:  33775173. Arafat HM et al The association between breast cancer and consumption of dairy products: a  systematic review. Ann Med. 2023 Dec;55(1):2198256. doi: 10.1080/07853890.2023.2198256. PMID: 37078247; PMCID: PMC10120447 Bodai B et al Breast Cancer: Lifestyle, the Human Gut Microbiota/Microbiome, and Survivorship. Perm J. 2020; 24:19.129. doi: 10.7812/TPP/19.129. PMID: 32589577; PMCID: PMC7319098. 
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Not an End, But a New Beginning: Empowering Yourself as a Breast Cancer Survivor

For many women, the last day of breast cancer treatment is one filled with relief and hope. Yet it can also feel unexpectedly unsettling. Survivorship isn’t the end of a story, but the beginning of a new chapter—balancing ongoing medical care with healthy habits, emotional honesty, and resilience [1].Survivorship is not about going back to who you were before. It’s about reclaiming the control that cancer disrupted and moving forward into the person you are becoming [2]. Taking Steps Towards Health and Healing “I want to take charge of my health.”After treatment, your healthcare team may recommend follow-up visits to monitor for recurrence or secondary cancers [2] [3]. These appointments can stir up anxiety, but they are also  opportunities to ask questions, share symptoms, and feel more in control. [1] [4] [5]. Tip: Write down three questions before each follow-up visit. This can help you focus on what matters most and ease uncertainty.Beyond check-ups, daily habits play a powerful role in recovery. Physical activity has been shown to  lower anxiety and depression, boost well-being and help reduce the recurrence risk [5] [6] [7]. Nourishing your body with a fibre-rich foods,  fruits, vegetables and whole grains supports long-term health [5].Empowerment isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s about acknowledging when you’re struggling, giving yourself compassion, and still choosing steps that nurture your healing [8].Adjusting to Your New Normal “Life feels different now, and that’s okay.”Many survivors long to “get back to normal,” but life after cancer rarely looks the same [9]. Physical changes like surgical scars, early menopause or fatigue may leave you feeling disconnected from your body [9]. Emotionally, the fear of recurrence or grief for pre-cancer self can weigh heavily [1] [9]. These shifts can ripple into relationships too. Loved ones may expect you to bounce back quickly, which can feel isolating [1] [2]. The first step in navigating these changes is permission—permission to acknowledge these challenges honestly. Healing isn’t linear; it’s more like the tide, flowing in and out. With time, small steps toward your own “new normal” can help you feel more grounded [10].Redefining Yourself and Finding Confidence “I’m not who I was before.”For many, survivorship becomes a chance to rewrite their story. Cancer may reshape body image, sexuality, routines and even career paths, but it also sparks new perspectives [11] [12]. This period is often described as  rediscovery—finding strength you didn’t know you had, deepening  relationships, and noticing meaning in everyday moments [1] [2] [4]. Not everyone feels comfortable with the label “survivor”, and that’s okay[1] [2]. Identity after cancer isn’t about erasing what happened. It’s about weaving those experiences into your new narrative—one that reflects both the scars you carry and the confidence you are building. Finding Strength Through Community and Support “I can’t do this alone, and I don’t have to.”Healing is strongest when shared. Social support, whether from family, friends, survivor groups or your care team, can ease stress, strengthen emotional adjustment and improve well-being [2] [6] [13]. Many women find comfort in survivor groups where others truly understand their journey. These conversations can bring hope, practical coping strategies, and a sense of belonging [2]. At the same time, leaning on close relationships can help rebuild trust and connection, even if cancer has shaken old support systems [13].Empowerment doesn’t mean facing everything alone. It also means knowing  when to lean on others. Survivorship is both individual and collective, and walking this path together can make each step feel lighter.Moving Forward with IntentionEvery small step—whether speaking up about side effects, starting a new health habit, or reaching out for support—is part of reclaiming your strength.While it’s natural to grieve the life you had before, remember this: you are more than the scars cancer has left behind. At Solis and Luma, we believe the end of treatment is not the end of the cancer journey. Survivors deserve continued care, compassion, and tools to live fully and earnestly after cancer. The Breast Years of Your Life: Living Well After Cancer offers practical guidance and heartfelt support - from rebuilding trust with your body to embracing new beginnings -so you can continue to live meaningfully beyond cancer. References[1] Cancer Council, Living Well After Cancer [2] European Society for Medical Oncology, The Guide for Patients on Survivorship [3] Cleveland Clinic, Cancer Survivorship [4] Mayo Clinic, Cancer survivors: Managing your emotions after cancer treatment [5] Solis Breast Care & Surgery Centre, The Breast Years of Your Life: Living Well After Cancer [6] BMC Women's Health, "Resilience and renewal: the personal impact of physical activity in breast cancer survivors" [7] American Cancer Society, Physical Activity and the Person with Cancer [8] American Cancer Society, Life After Cancer [9] Journal of Cancer Survivorship, "Psychosocial experiences of breast cancer survivors: a meta-review" [10] Asia-Pacific Journal of Oncology Nursing, "Perceived New Normal and Inner Strength on Quality of Life in Breast Cancer Patients Receiving Adjuvant Endocrine Therapy" [11] National Cancer Institute, Life After Cancer Treatment [12] Latin American Journal of Palliative Care, "The (re)construction of female identity among women cancer survivors" [13] Asia Pacific Journal of Cancer Prevention, "Importance of Social Support in Cancer Patients" 
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